Procrastination finally grows some teeth
So all research is gathered, all sources have been read to their fullest, all information has been collected to the best of my abilities.
Now I just have to write the damn thing. 20-25 pages on the libretto and tone painting in Haydn's oratorio "The Creation." Yays.
I cannot focus for the life of me. I keep thinking "If you get this over with, you'll be free and clear on Tuesday." But then the other half of my brain turns into a whining three-year-old who just wants to watch TV and pet doggies.
So instead, I will leave this window open and every hour or so, permit myself a break from the writing process to include a couple lines about what I'm thinking. I'm sure it will be fascinating.
10:30- for f*ck's sake I just want to finish a page. One bloody page, without copying and pasting crap. If I write a solid 5 pages an hour, I can be finished by 2 or 3 a.m. and still get a few hours' sleep before work.
11:30- Have 3 pages written, getting distinctly foggy. Seriously considering begging for an extension.
12:30- 4 pages. Lord help me; what is wrong with me, and why on earth did I sign up to take this class? I keep yawning until my eyes fill with tears, and I've even gotten to the point where I sent the dogs to bed. Yet here I am, wondering if I can steal a few hours of nap and pick up writing in the morning. I'll see if I can get a sort of rhythm going, and maybe cross the threshold of something resembling a halfway point first.
12:47- I yield to sleep at 5 pages. Alarm set for 4:00.
4:30- Awake again, showered and dressed for work, but this time completely panicking. There just isn't a way to finish this satisfactorily. I can turn in a steaming pile of crap today, or I can take another day and turn in something worth reading tomorrow. This spun out of control the instant I got home from work, because one more thing broke and needs to be replaced, and I spent three hours freaking out over money and trying to come up with a plan, instead of going tunnel-vision on my work like I should have. Tonight procrastination came back to bite me. And yes, it had some serious teeth.
Grrr. I hate life lessons; they're always ill-timed.
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