Feeling: Breathing
Listening to: Fiona Apple - Limp (thank you, Lala)
Reading/Watching: The Convenient Marriage, Georgette Heyer

It is true. We all have ultimate control over our emotions.

Yesterday, complete strangers walked up to me and would ask solicitously, "Are you okay?"

Now that is just pathetic. I should not have my wrecked little soul hanging on my face. So today I put on my favorite necklace--a pair of comedy/tragedy masks on a chain--and let it hang cold over my heart to remind me: I am an actress. No one has to know any more than I choose to tell them.

So I walked with my chin held high, smiled brilliantly at anyone who made eye contact, forced a swing into my hips, and every time someone greeted me with, "Hey, how're you doing?" I chirped, "I'm great!"

Hah, I fooled them all. ::evil smile:: The only person who doesn't believe me when I start off saying I'm fine is Drew, because he somehow sees through my BS (Bri does, too, but she accepts it and figures I'll tell her later, which I do). But Drew came by last night and made me laugh for an hour, so he is still cool.

And the damnedest thing is, I feel lighter today. In fooling everyone else, I fooled myself. It got easier to smile each time I pushed it out. I felt in control of my life, because I could control how I behaved.

I am now going to drive home to my family, avoiding the subject of the boyfriend I just told them about last weekend, and rock out thoroughly at the Incubus concert with my little brother.

Puppy, it's going to be a blast. Hope you're ready.

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