Feeling: hopeful
Listening to: humming Don't Cry For Me Argentina
Reading/Watching: Lord Vishnu's Love Handles - Will Clarke

So the interview is going quite well, the guy seems to like me, I have plenty to say for myself in terms of job experience.

"What would you require in a job?"

That deadly question. I was honest: I said I needed a steady schedule. Didn't matter when my hours were, I just needed them to stay the same from week to week, so that I could schedule my voice students around them. All my kids were poised to move anyway, what with school starting, and as long as I could know when I would be free, we'd be golden.

And, of course, I had to ask "Do you have any positions like that?"

Well, no, they didn't. The teller job (for which I was interviewing) was 25 hours a week, $9 an hour, but the schedule rotated from week to week. I could ask for a specific day off, but I could not hope for a steady schedule. Was I still interested in the job, knowing that I would have movable hours? They would try to help me out if I had morning classes, etc.

I thought about it. No, I don't have morning classes, but I have students. I have voice students that have become close enough to me that I call them "my kids." And they deserve to have a steady schedule. They deserve to know that if I schedule a Monday lesson at 3:30, I will always be available on Monday at 3:30. I can't call them every Sunday and say, "Okay, here's what I've got for this week..."

They deserve better than that. They deserve a teacher who is dedicated to them. And with that, I made a decision.

I slowly shook my head at the interviewer. "I'm sorry, but I need a schedule that stays in one place. I went to five years of college to teach music; it's my career. I would love to work for your company, but I can't shuffle my kids around a rotating work schedule. It's not fair to them."

He nodded, looking regretful, and said in that case, he would look around the internal offices to see if he could find a job with steady work hours that would suit my work experience and training. He shook my hand, and said he'd call in a couple weeks.

I walked out knowing I hadn't gotten the job, and knowing that I probably couldn't get any job. If I wanted to teach, really teach, and not just do it as a hobby, I needed to find a job that would be willing to schedule around my students, and those are virtually nonexistent for a girl who studied music instead of banking or customer service.

The official letter declining my application came in the mail a week later, saying "we regret to inform you... many qualified applicants for this position, etc." On that same day, I deposited my fourth week's earnings from my students (I now have nine), and realized I could make rent, pay utilities, and have enough left over to pay off mon coeur's ring, even after the huge grocery bill last week, even with the cancellations from random sick days and kids on vacation.

It may not make me rich, but I can get by. I am proud of that fact: I can get by. And I feel an intense satisfaction in my choice.

You know you're a real teacher when you're willing to sacrifice stability and better money for your students... when you come home from a day of lessons invigorated and cheerful, not tired and frustrated... when you want to tell everyone about the breakthrough you finally had with that one soprano who articulates notes with her chin.

So I guess I'm a teacher now.

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