Feeling: off-kilter
Listening to: Meatloaf - I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
Reading/Watching: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Did you know that "private voice teacher," when translated into Dutch, means "summer music sleep-away camp?"

A man from Holland wrote to me, asking about lessons for his two kids, wanting to know rates and availability. Naturally, I assumed that he was not a total dingleberry, and would realize that one must be living in Texas to actually study with me, so he must be from Holland, but living here. I wrote back my usual drivel, times on Monday and Wednesday, $30 per hour, please tell me the ages of your children so I can choose music for them, blah de blah.

He replies saying "Fine, so I will attain visas for my two children and send them to you for a four week program, two hours a day, five days a week, for $1200, yes?"

I had to read it three times before I understood exactly what he was talking about.

And then, desperate for money as I am, I thought it over, before realizing that there is no way I can let two little foreign kids sleep on my couch for a month, unless they're descendants from that rare bloodline of Lilliputian Dutch.

Plus, I doubt they'd like my cooking. And who wants two Lilliputian Dutch brats hanging about, whining about how the Easy Mac is burned?

So I wrote back and told him I was not a boarding school, and that he should try New York, 'kaythanksverymuch.

Although taking him up on his offer would make for a very interesting summer vacation. I wouldn't lack for journal entry topics, at least.

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