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Jae, you are marvelous, even if you don't know this diary exists.

She told me "Never be the one to go back."

I was already planning how I would. How, if CB came back, I would come up to him, shake his hand, and say blandly, "Hi. I'm Katie. Nice to meet you."

And give him a chance to shred me to ribbons again? Ha.

I will not be the one to go back. Whether or not I get the chance, I will stop subconsciously inventing ways in a perfect world that I could get even, forgive, be forgiven, start fresh, whatever. It is what it is. I'll treat it like a bad note on the piano, or a C on a test. It happened. Deal. Do better next time.

Didn't hurt that someone told me, "You don't have a heart of gold. You have a heart of fuckin' diamond-studded platinum."

That's always nice to hear.

You know those days where you need to talk, and those days where you need to listen? Need to absorb yourself in someone else's problems, hear someone else's story. I needed to be quiet and listen today. And she's who I heard.

And it works. So a crappy day became worthwhile.

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