Feeling: tense
Listening to: Pajama Game in my head
Reading/Watching: Without You, by Anthony Rapp

It has recently become clear that I am not going to be taking graduate classes this summer.

I had fully intended to do so, was preparing to register online and had already worked out a deal with one of my friends where I could crash on her couch a couple nights a week so as not to be traversing 100 miles round trip every day.

But expenses are stacking up, of course. Deposits on the new place, replacing the things that were divvied up between my husband and myself (or, rather, he chose what he wanted and spirited it out while I was at work without asking or discussing it, but that's another story), and legal fees.

There's a lot to take care of, and a lot to focus on. And perhaps this summer, more than ever, loading myself up with work and affording double-classes on my own single-income dime is not such a wise idea.

The idea scares me, because I already feel that it's taking a long time to finish my degree, but I'm trying to remember that there's no one waving a flag over my head. This is not a requirement, this is an extra. I can live without the extras if I have to.

So I'm contemplating the idea of a summer without work, except some voice lessons and the aforementioned plans to make the demo CD. I could have friends over, I could go visit places, I could sleep as much as I wanted and possibly even start next school year without brewing a gastric disturbance in my gut! It's a novel thought.

The urge to hop in my car and drive to Anywhere But Here is very strong, but I now have a sort of finish line in sight. I'm looking ahead at June 6th and realizing that really, that's not so far away. I can make it.

The goal is to be breaking life down into chewable bites, and getting past each one. This can be done.

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