Feeling: snarky
Listening to: Johnny Cash - Get a Rhythm
Reading/Watching: The Other Boleyn Girl

A few things every person should know, before entering a retail store of any kind:

1) Getting 50% off something because you yell really, really loud is not a God-given right.

2) At any given moment, an employee can either help you find something, re-stock the shelves so that it's there to find, clean up the vomit your kid left on aisle 4, or run the cash register so you can get the hell out of here. If you want us to spend all our time doing one of those for you, stop being pissy when there's no one left to take care of the other three.

3) "The back" is not a mystical, magic place where we keep untold amounts of really cool stuff we don't want you to know about. "The back" is where the keep the excess inventory that is already fully stocked on the shelf.

4) If your child is screaming while you shop, and you refuse to take them outside, we will still help you, but we are secretly wanting to stab you in the eyeballs.

5) Please don't whine about how long you've been shopping today. I opened the store at 8 a.m. this morning, and I haven't sat down since.

6) Waiting in line is a part of life. Accept it, and try shopping on a Tuesday morning instead.

7) When you steal, you are making our prices higher, and my salary lower. Thanks.
7b) This isn't a fucking library. "Returning" something you bought six months ago and already read is still stealing.

8) Don't assume that just because I work retail, I'm a drooling idiot. Over 50% of the employees at my store have college degrees, and still more have multiple jobs. Everybody's got to pay the rent.

9) I'm having a Christmas, too. You're not the only one.

10) No, I do not know when the next Harry Potter book is coming out. Neither do my manager, the internet, or J.K. Rowling.

Sigh... and I'm finished venting. The craziness of Christmas and Post-Christmas are finally beginning to wane, as the uber-sales taper off and the frenetic belated-gift-buying subsides.

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