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Oh. My. Word. Now this is just cool.

Total pageviews: 10018 (over 274.8 days)
Average per day: 37

::feels popular:: ::loves her Gold membership:: Andrew, do you need more money? 'Cause I will give you more money. At this point I love the world. And each and every one of you little cuties reading this right now! ::love and hugs::

Sorry.

Celebrating Jae's birthday was both fun and saddening. She'd invited many, many people, but in the end it was just me, John, and the birthday girl. John is not normally a man of many words, and since I, when intimidated/tired/thoughtful am not exactly a chatterbox, things could be quiet at times.

I thought people liked girls who don't babble incessantly. Because honestly, if I forced myself to find things to say in those quiet moments (that I, frankly, don't find uncomfortable), it would be useless babble. It would be warbling, like these girls I know that somehow, in vast stretches of empty air, find so many syllables to expunge and so little to actually say. (Not that I don't love them, they're sweethearts, but... eh bien.)

I guess people just think I'm weird because I'm a nineteen-year-old female who won't talk when she has nothing to say. Hm. At least John says hello to me now and doesn't seem to lump me into the group of giggly teenagers that he voiced indifference to while we were talking.

But anyway, we ate and went walking down the Riverwalk, and my feet were aching (why, as a woman of five feet and nine inches, did I feel constrained to wear strappy four-inch heels?) but we were chatting comfortably so things were fine. Then Jae realized her wallet was gone. And the night went rapidly down the crapper. More walking trying to look for it (my hose were declaring mutiny and it was getting uncomfortable), before we gave up and went home. Because Jae can talk her way into getting me into Candlelight, and wanted to get me into a bar that had some great musicians playing. But not when she doesn't have her own ID.

Poor girl. Wish I had a rewind button to loan her. I wish I had a fake ID (but not enough to actually get one... like I've said before, I can wait). I wish a lot of things.

Today I spent a vast amount of time feeling that I've lived this day before. I must have watched Groundhog Day too many times. It's like I'm doing the exact same thing, only the consequences and responsibilities climb higher and higher. I hate feeling worthless.

But at least I'm shallow enough to gauge my worth on the number of hits I've had on my diary. :) So I'm worth over 10,000. Yippeeee!

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