Feeling: ambitious
Listening to: Coldplay - Low
Reading/Watching: Desperate Housewives

Who else is not big on compliments? I tend to think they're a waste of breath, most of the time.

For one thing, they're embarrassing, because you have to stand there and feel self-conscious while someone else is devoting every ounce of their attention to you, pointing out things for other people to notice. For another thing, I tend to be busy negating every word they say in my mind, and thus I never ever know what to say in return.

Plus? Words are cheap. Believe it or not, it is very easy to "say the right thing" and make a person feel better for two seconds, but it is much more difficult to find a gesture that will stick with their memory.

I've known people who were flatterers. My first boyfriend, Harry, was really big on compliments. You're so beautiful, you're so sweet, you're so amazing, you're so smart, blah de blah de blah. He was really big on singing my praises, and even wrote some songs about me. He was also really big on having sex with whatever walked past him, once he realized compliments wouldn't pry my legs apart. The next boyfriend, a rebound guy, wasn't much better: quick to compliment and flatter and say sweet things like "I've missed you so much" (since yesterday?!), but after that five-minute-segment of the conversation was over, we had nothing left to talk about.

Mon coeur is not highly verbose. He never seems to know how to string the right phrase together, especially when on the spot. He's not the long-romantic-declaration type guy. He tends to stick with talking about actual things, which is infinitely preferable to me. And then, when I'm lying in bed with my hair in a frizzy bun, no makeup on, face red from crying, wearing a wrinkled t-shirt, he can look into my eyes and say, "You're so beautiful." And really, three words is enough. Particularly with his fingers twined in mine, and brushing the tears off my cheeks.

I am going to challenge myself to use words less, and actions more. Telling friends "I miss you" or "you're going to be okay" is nowhere near as valuable as taking the time to go see them, hug them, and listen to their problems face-to-face.

With some friends, I can't exactly do that, simply because they live so far away that it would take several days' drive or a plane ticket to be there in person. So I'm taking steps to give them something tangible, something physical to remind them that someone out there loves them and thinks they're wonderful. It's way better than just telling them.

P.S.- Julie, I'm glad you liked your package. :) I figure it beats the hell out of a well-written journal comment.

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