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Ever have an insane urge to go incognito for a day?

Ever want to make up a fake IM name and go bug all your friends with invites to cyber and fractured English and one-letter words?

Ever want to dye your hair a vivid shade of green and go sit in a church or something faking a completely innocent look?

Ever want to put on a Halloween mask and go drive through every single EZ-tag booth on the tollroads, then if they ever come after you, say it was someone else?

Ever want to sit on a bus muttering cryptic things like "It's coming... it's coming..." and staring at someone's left earlobe until they move away?

Ever want to walk down the street naked and the next day pretend it never happened when people ask?

Ever want to go in a popcult chatroom and convince the fans that their teen idol of choice just died in a freak napalming incident?

Ever want to walk downtown and every time a member of the opposite sex looks at you, yell "Pervert!"?

Ever want to fill a bathtub full of grapes and stomp them into wine like in "I Love Lucy" and "A Walk in the Clouds"?

Ever want to call a newspaper and read out loud to them every single typo you find in their Sunday issue?

Ever want to brush your hair in front of your face and walk backwards all day?

Ever want to turn those grand prix video games into real life and award yourself points for every pet or pedestrian you can get?

...Yeah, me neither.

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