Feeling: cool by association
Listening to: Jeff Buckley - Lilac Wine
Reading/Watching: journals; I need new material. please comment with your favorites. :)

Ever had one of those times when, for reasons you can't begin to fathom, some random person seems to want to hang out with you?

It could be someone you've "seen around," someone you will pass on the sidewalk with a brief greeting unless you're in a hurry, but you can never remember their name. It could be someone you once sat with in a stuffy waiting room, or stood behind in line, and whiled away the unbearable minutes by discussing the weird hat belonging to the lady in line in front of you, because it beats standing in awkward don't-look-at-me silence, reading the nutritional information on a display rack of beef jerky.

But all of a sudden, this person turns up, remembering your name, and has a good hour or so to kill, and for some reason, they want to spend it with you. Somewhere along the line, you made an impression on them, and now they have the sad misapprehension that you are somehow cool.

Makes you want to grab them by the shoulders and say, "Look, I am not cool. I babble and can speak at length on the frequency of squirrels in the quad, and sometimes yeah, you see me laughing with a couple people and it gives you the illusion of radiating coolness, but trust me, I am a dork. I bite my fingernails and get wedgies and burp just like 99.9% of the population, I can sit and have absolutely nothing of worth to say for hours on end, and I've been known to do strange improvised skip-dances when I trip over a bump in the sidewalk that was never there in the first place. If cool were a place, I would be the tiny deserted island on the blur of the horizon away from cool, across a stormy ocean fraught with sharks and reefs. I am that far from cool."

But you don't say it. Because you're not even cool enough to think of it in time. And so you hang out with that person.

And oddly enough? They turn out to be cool. So you decide their serious lack of judgment by choosing to associate with you can be forgiven.

I'm having that kind of week.

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