Feeling: frightened
Listening to: recordings of Yaaleh from Sunday night
Reading/Watching: nothing

So on Wednesday I felt a little ucky.

Thursday, I ended the day by rushing home into bed with tea and soup and sleep and a thermometer reading 100.3 degrees.

Friday, I was in a miserable puddle, at work only because the kids had earned a movie day and I could spend my time inputting grades. I let my DVD of Coraline keep them entertained while they wrote about what moods the movie music was setting (side note: these kids need to unpack their adjectives. Nothing but "sad," "happy," "scary," or "angry" as mood descriptors. All day.)

Sandman joined me for opening night of Evita, and drugged me when I started shivering over nachos at Good Time Charlie's with the theater crowd. Apparently he keeps a ready supply of Tylenol in his car at all times. Then he basically bullied me into napping, taking pills, and saving my voice all weekend while he made tea and went off to paint his new bedroom.

Today was Yom Kippur, which meant Kol Nidre service from 7-9 last night, good ol' Day of Atonement from 9:30-1:30 today, and then back at 5:30 for Neilah until the sun went down. I was a mess, snuffling and coughing and aching with sore muscles (they aren't used to so many fever-shivers in just a few days). I was prepared to come home for my afternoon break and see an empty house, but instead Sandman came back over and brought the necessary tools to install the new car stereo I've been lugging around in my trunk for months.

While he was taking me back home from buying some mounting plate thingy from Best Buy, he talked casually about how easy the stereo would be to install. He could just sit in the (hot) driveway and take care of it in time for me to get back to sing that evening, and then my stereo wouldn't skip or overheat anymore. I looked at him and the unexpected thought came "This is what it feels like."

And it's so early and it's so scary and it's so soon and it's so easy, and my eyes filled up (because being sick does make me emotional, yes), and I pretended an intense fascination with the train passing by my window so he wouldn't see and freak out.

I am seriously scared, now. This is too easy. He's good looking (unbelievably hot, in fact), and tall, and smart (possibly smarter than me; jury's still out), and willing to do dishes and help me with things like muddy dogs and shower drains, and funny and thoughtful (two dozen white lilies when he heard I was sick) and somehow he also thinks I'm the coolest, sexiest thing on the planet and can't seem to stay away from me, even when I'm morning-breathy or PMS-crazy or coughing up gobbets of mucus. Something is being missed. Something major is not clicking into place yet. Right?

...Right?

P.S.- The car stereo works perfectly.
P.P.S.- I limped through the Yom Kippur marathon with pride intact. Yay me. Although I may not be able to sing much tomorrow for the kids.

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