Feeling: lost
Listening to: Evanescence - "You"
Reading/Watching: nothing

...and Nimsay's great-aunt has died, and she is grieving, but not letting herself grieve, because the Bar is on the 29th and she thinks she doesn't have time.

I feel so selfish, letting myself get caught up in stupid highschool-esque drama, when she has real problems going on. And I can't afford to lose her; she is all I have left. All I have. One stupid night, and I've driven everyone away. I feel like there has never been a greater folly of trust than mine.

I am holding myself so straight, so brittle, so tightly wound, if anyone so much as nudges me I will shatter and collapse. My smile is a paint shell around air. I feel as if the moment I release this canker from the pit of my stomach, the instant I let myself talk about it any further, this fractured shield I have around me will completely disintegrate, like meringue, and I'll be left broken, curled up under sticky ashes.

I am terrified. So terrified.

Please don't touch me right now. Not unless you're ready to catch the pieces.

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