Feeling: defensively taking my time
Listening to: Christina Abbott - Climbing Cathedrals
Reading/Watching: Knocked Up

I don't want the job.

It took a lot of thinking, a lot of careful consideration, looking at all the ways this could go, and I realized: I am hoping I don't get it. I want to apply, to say I tried, so I don't let my friends down by seeming like a coward, but...

I don't want the job.

So I am not going to waste their time by sending a halfhearted application. I don't want to move again, I don't want to be that damn far away from everyone, I don't want to leap right into a job I feel vastly unprepared for. I want to go back to school and learn more, not because I need it to get a job, because I need it to do the job well.

And here I am, hoping you're not disappointed in me. (and if you are, fuck off. Go follow your own dreams, then you can start in on me.)

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