Feeling: mopey
Listening to: Jasmine Ash - Fall
Reading/Watching: Eragon... yes, I know

I can wear myself thin, rub myself raw, and bend myself to breaking for other people.

I can, I have, I do.

But the first time I think about doing something purely, utterly selfish, something that doesn't benefit anyone but me, my entire psyche shrinks away while my petulant inner diva grumbles, "Why not?"

I just don't know how to shut out what other people think and need and expect. I don't.

It's driving me crazy.

How did we do this goofy boomerang? Born into the world as individuals and self-serving creatures, we're taught the sense of community and teamwork, and either buy into it wholeheartedly, or reject it and become outcasts. Because it's perceived that if you do only for yourself, someone else will have to carry your weight. That's assuming you can't haul your own freight, of course.

Everyone should get one free pass in life, a coupon saying that once, just once, we get to do something purely selfish and luxuriate in it, before returning to the daily routine of taking care of everyone else around us.

Comments? 0 so far...
Not a Diaryland member? Sign the Guestbook.