Feeling: inactive
Listening to: Nimsay's music... I think it's the Cure
Reading/Watching: The Notebook - Nicholas Sparks

Yesterday Bri told me, "You're a do-er. You can't just sit there and let things happen, you have to do something about it, even when you're not being asked to."

The context is not worth explaining, but this floored me.

It's very weird, when I halfway know something about myself, but then someone else steps in and says it the right way.

So that's why I'm going crazy right now. Things are unraveling, and I can't do anything, because it's not really my life. Can't help, can't stop it, can't change it, can't fix it. All I can do is watch, and imagine the million different scenarios where I might have been able to save the day, if things had been different and I wasn't just the front-row audience member.

This determination to fix things is a really, really unhealthy personality trait, I think.

So I am taking a day off from it. Today big sister Bear graduates from college. I'm driving north to watch her walk across the stage, so I can clap and be proud.

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