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I'm bored, so I thought I'd give you way too much information about myself. Most of this stuff is only common knowledge between me, my little brother, and God. But that doesn't mean any of it is interesting.

1) My hair is naturally curly. If I had a choice, I would not choose this. And yes, I've tried straightening it- it's like ironing a slinky. I think my hair follicles were cloned from Keri Russell's less-pretty sister. (Believe it or not, I was born with wavy dark brown hair. Around age eight or nine nature got funky on me.)

2) My fingernails are miniscule. Once I held them next to those of a three-year-old I babysit, and hers were roughly the same size. I swear. All except for the thumbs. Some people think they're cute. I think they're a pain in the butt to polish.

3) I have very ugly feet. No, you only think yours are ugly. The only person who can win out in an ugly-foot contest with me would have to be a ballet dancer. No one knows how ugly my feet are because open-toed sandals are not my friends.

4) When I was eight I gave up on becoming Julie Andrews (literally becoming her; I was a deluded child), and decided I was going to be an author. Not 'wanted to be.' Going to be. I actually finished my first book when I was eleven. I have since burned it to avoid blackmail.

5) I wasn't invited to any parties in high school. None. There was the occasional birthday party, but those were for very best friends, and they were the sleepover kind, not the parents-out-of-town-open-bar kind. Considering I went to a wild 5-A highschool, this track record is not promising.

6) I have a false tooth. My front teeth had a huge gap until eighth grade, when a dentist discovered I was missing an adult tooth. Four years of orthodontics later, the gap's little sister now lives there, right next to a pretty ceramic bridge.

7) I'm scarily competitive. About everything. No matter how ridiculous it is. I rarely utter a word of it because I hate letting people know that I'm a shallow bitch. Besides, I know cerebrally that all that competitive stuff is total bull.

8) There is a very good chance that I'm incapable of having children.

9) The two people I fear most in the world are Michael (Charlie Brown) and my father. Both belittled me at times when I was highly vulnerable. Dad, however, wins overall because I still love and respect him, and honestly value his opinion of me.

10) I love little girly things like music boxes and figurines, but detest other girly things like fake fingernails, toe rings, and wearing short skirts. I think all three dislikes can be pinned down to my own insecurities about baby nails, ugly feet, big calves, etc.

11) I honestly think of long words first, and simpler ones later. I'm that much of an English nerd.

12) I'm passionate about favorites, but I tend to obsess about my current flavors until I get sick of them. Case in point: cookie dough ice cream.

13) I get "Nazi-war-doctor" with zits. Something to do with imperfections. The only ones that get by unmolested have to be square between my shoulder blades.

14) I hate throwing things away, but when I get started I tend to binge and later wind up regretting some of the discards.

15) If I'm dying for a compliment, a hug, a favor, I'll say I don't want it. And I'll pray you don't listen.

16) In trying to correct quirks, I create neuroses. It's rather ironic.

The list will probably be appended later, but for now I'm sure you're ready for something peppy. :) I go back to school this weekend, classes start a week from today. Yay. My car will not be coming with me until after the wedding. Meaning no Becca's bachelorette party for me. Boo.

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