Feeling: worn out
Listening to: Andante snoring
Reading/Watching: --

Today was a long, difficult conversation.

But we felt better for having it, even if the discoveries weren't what we wanted. He finally gave in and broke down in front of me, instead of waiting to do it in private. I held him in my arms and prayed that at the end of this, we can at least still be friends.

That is what I have decided to pray for. I want peace for both of us, and I want us to remain friends, no matter what the outcome. I fought for five years to keep loving him, and I will fight for one more year at least to learn how to love him again. He understands that I will try, and he understands that I can't necessarily force the outcome, any more than he can.

But he's trying to change. I'm trying to trust that he will change permanently, instead of being cynical and assuming that it will all bounce back to default as soon as he feels secure.

And he has decided to forgive me for fighting for three years not to love someone else... and losing the battle.

Praying for peace. Just praying for peace. And we have officially forbidden what-ifs for the time being, because they hurt more than they help.

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