Feeling: celebratory
Listening to: Hairspray - You're Timeless to Me
Reading/Watching:

I have been thinking about the contrast between how a marriage begins, and how it ends.

Both are lengthy, expensive processes. Both throw a lot of attention on the two people involved. Both bring on loads of stress, and can be followed by total elation or depression once the goal is achieved.

Yet weddings are surrounded with joy and gifts and friends, and divorces (when you need those things) are completely barren. Brides get parties and showers and bridesmaids.

Well, I'm throwing a party. A Freedom Fest. July 11- write it down. It's a few days after my court date, and gives people plenty of time to plan. I'm also keeping up my New Home registry on Bed Bath and Beyond, even though no one used it yet. If you want to get me a housewarming or belated birthday present, search Katie Whiting on the BB&B website.

And, I want bridesmaids. Except obviously, I'm not going to be a bride. So what will I be? A bitter, single old hag? Okay, fine. Then I need hagmaids.

Hagmaid duties are just as fun as bridesmaids', except there are fewer expenses and you don't have to lose weight for the Big Day.

Hagmaid responsibilities will also include moral support for the Hag, such as a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. There will probably be shopping and new outfits involved, although you don't have to feel obligated to buy anything (and if you do, it doesn't have to match the other Hagmaids in some creepy Stepford way). It should definitely involve things like facials and mani/pedis. There should absolutely be luncheons and parties. Your Hagmaid gift will not be some useless monogrammed something-or-other.

And the bachelorette party will last a lot, lot longer.

So, I am currently looking around to choose my Hagmaids. Even if you're not local, you're welcome to join in. ;) Best part is, I'm not limited to a certain number to match his, because he's not an issue anymore. So I could have thirty if I want.

So step on up, ladies. Let's make this official.

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