Feeling: nice
Listening to: --
Reading/Watching: Crazy Heart

I tend to freak out when things don't go according to plan.

I tend to overplan, and overprepare, and over-everything.

I tend to time every task as if I'm the only one who's going to be doing them.

I tend to budget my money and my energy around what I, alone, can handle.

I tend to fight it when someone else tells me to slow down.

Today, we were running late, and I freaked out. I overplanned everything we were going to do, and half those things had to go out the window. I figured it would take an hour to get on the road if I was the one packing up the car. I figured I'd be exhausted by the end of the day from doing all the packing, all the cleaning, all the driving.

I kind of built this habit around years of practice, first being alone, then being married to someone who was totally okay with letting me do the work, then being alone again.

Today, we packed the car in twenty minutes. Yes, we ditched half my preparations, but Will convinced me that we didn't actually need to do all of that. And of the four hours we spent driving, I was behind the wheel for one of them. It even got to the point where I said "wait, we need to unload-" and he literally would not let me help. He asked me to heat up some food, get comfortable, while he took everything out of the car. I didn't need to consult, or instruct, or micro-manage (a horrible habit; it's the worst kind of addiction, because you're never at peace). I warmed up the burgers we had left over, then sat on my cute little butt.

It's pretty foreign. It's awfully nice, too. I'm not saying I'm going to turn into one of those helpless types who can't open her own jar of pickles, but... wow it's nice, not having to do everything. Not everything, all the time.

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