Feeling: ... odd.
Listening to: John Mayer, "Message in a Bottle"
Reading/Watching: The Dragon Token, Melanie Rawn

I took a nap yesterday and had the strangest, freakiest dream ever.

I dreamed that suddenly Chris (my first boyfriend from highschool- summer 2000) showed up, and I was so thrilled to see him, I kissed him. And it somehow turned him gay. And I, worried, started kissing every guy friend I had. They all suddenly became much more interested in each other than me--even the ones that were gay before.

And this made me happy. Because at least that way, I understood exactly what to expect from each of them.

This is very odd and twisted, this dream, and yet here I am, thinking, "Maybe I should pretend it's true. Maybe I should make believe that everyone is gay, and therefore never ever ever going to like me that way. It will simplify everything so much, and I won't have to analyze every move he or I make."

So guys, if I start hugging on you and being affectionate suddenly, don't worry. It's because I'm pretending you're gay.

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