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I'm sorry, but the time has come for me to discuss personal dilemmas once again. Feel free to turn and run.

I was bored yesterday. I felt like talking to someone- possibly a guy, since guys usually don't go into long schpiels about their current significant other, or gossip nearly as much.

I'm just really not the gossiping type.

So I called a guy friend that I've enjoyed talking with before. He's funny, he's interesting, and we generally have a good time chatting.

He, of course, was not there, which I realized would probably be the case, since he works in the afternoons. I left a short, noncommittal message saying "Call me whenever" and then signed online to doodle around on the computer for a while.

I signed off to change from AOL to my free internet server, and noticed there was a message on my voicemail. It was from him, goofy and rambling as always, and I started laughing as soon as I heard it and decided to call him back right then instead of wait until I was done with my stuff online.

What was supposed to be a five-minute "what's up how are you doing" boredom call turned into over an hour. It's amazing- we both said it, sometimes the best conversations are the unplanned ones. It was one of those talks that turns an amiable acquaintance into a friend. A confidant. A... something.

Eventually I had to go, because I realized I was getting far too pulled into this conversation, and was in danger of doing something really stupid, like falling for this guy- the one I declared off-limits from the beginning.

This guy... Let's just call him Charlie Brown. He's a friend of my old *him* (you know, the one that dominated my thoughts for dozens of these diary entries?), and he's far too similar in all the endearing, idiosyncratic ways, and yet has none of the characteristics that bothered me about *him*.

So what do I do? Somehow I wound up telling Charlie Brown about what went wrong with *him*, and he told me his secrets right back, and... wow, this could be a dangerous situation. Because I could seriously fall hard. The worst part is I really want to.

And what will that do to their friendship? And ours?

Ugh. I hate being a mixed-up Dawson's-Creek-esque chick. Grr.

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