Feeling: inquisitive
Listening to: The Shins - New Slang
Reading/Watching: Buffy, season 6.

Twice this weekend I've expressed the wish to peek into someone's thoughts.

I've always wanted some sort of telepathic (or empathic) powers, because I'm dying to hear the words ticking away behind someone's eyes. Mon coeur disagrees with this idea, saying that then one could hear all the thoughts that a person doesn't mean, and would filter out in conversation. He believes that knowing a person's thoughts is unfair, because I might judge based on the worst of a thought, instead of the best (which makes me wonder what he thinks and doesn't say...).

But don't we usually follow up an extreme thought with a more temperate one? If we think something we don't really mean (which seems impossible, in my mind, how can you think something and not mean it? You thought it first!), we usually tack on, "Where did that come from?" which would also be overheard, in this Land of Thought-Spying.

All this probably comes from my subconscious obsession with what people think of me, and not just what people think in general. I place too much value on others' opinions, when such things are often dangerously polarized by their personal wants. But I think the truth lies in the averages, the combination of what is thought and said. What is said is far too easy to filter, but what is thought is the true identity, from extreme to extreme.

I remember my (evil) philosophy prof from last year saying that reality can only exist in the parameter of our mind, so that what we know and feel is all that really is, and that nothing can truly exist unless your mind can encompass it. That fascinated me, because it means that knowing history is important in that, without remembering what happened before, it ceases to exist, and it's too important to cease (did you get that? reading it back to myself, it was very confusing). Another fun thought was that, before the time of sentient beings, who was there to think them into existence? But those have nothing to do with my previous idea, the whole mind-reading-I-want-to-delve-into-your-deepest-secrets thing.

So I'll put a pretty face on my nosy tendencies and say I just want to expand my existence. Ha, I win.

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