Feeling: aggravated
Listening to: You're Pretty - Shh Quiet
Reading/Watching: The Eye of the World

So I told my mother about the recent change of plans, and she reacted basically the same way she did the last time I made a major decision without conforming to her plans.

She said "we'll talk about it later." She said I should come to Hometown to work it out. She said "the four of us will discuss it" (meaning she and my father would corner mon coeur and me and change our minds). She dismissed it entirely as a half-baked plan that just needed a hefty dose of Parent Logic to set everything to rights.

I think she missed the portion of the conversation where I was telling her what would happen, not asking. I think she missed the part where I'm twenty-three, a college graduate, and no longer compelled to receive permission.

Given my choice, I wouldn't do it this way. Given my choice, he would stay here and I would work and he would work and we would live in separate apartments and we would be married in 2006 and we would be poor and have no savings and I would never have to wake up from a nightmare without his arms around me.

I don't have that choice. I don't get to choose exactly what I want (who ever does? half of life is making yourself happy with your second choice). I have a choice between a year of loneliness, and a year of loneliness with military perks. I'll opt for the one that comes with the toy surprise at the end, thank you.

Highlight of today: at Kerry's bridal shower, I announced that mon coeur and I were engaged (to a roomful of happy wedding-minded women surrounded by frothy presents and tiny girly hors d'oeuvres), and got the reaction I've always imagined: everyone in the room gasped, and people squee'd and clapped and I got a bunch of hugs and people demanding to see my ring. It was so cute, like a Nora Ephron movie. Half the women there didn't even know me, they still squealed. This is why stereotypes exist, people.

In non-marriage-related news, I just might be able to make rent solely on voice lessons, after all. My students all seem happy with me, two of them want to pass my name on to their friends, and I've received two more phone calls to schedule introductory lessons. This is a big yay (and it makes me less anxious about how many companies are not calling me back for job interviews).

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