Feeling: explanatory
Listening to: --
Reading/Watching: --

Ha, and I have two new fans, thus proving that my diary is more popular when my life sucks.

Just to make this perfectly, perfectly clear:

I am not grabbing at straws to try to hang on to my husband. I did that, and I did that for six months. Now, I am exhausted. Now, I am empty.

Now, I am out.

And now, when he realizes how close he is to losing me, he is scrambling. He's done five loads of laundry in the past five days. He's pounced on the dirty dishes like they're rambunctious kittens trying to escape. He actually started writing down important dates, copying all the information from my planner into a little one of his own. He's trying to do-over five years in five minutes.

It feels like too little, too late. I feel frozen. For his sake, I'm hoping I can thaw. I'm hoping I can change my mind, because he's been such a friend to me for so long. I feel loyalty. I feel obligation.

I don't feel love. And this year will show whether that is temporary or a long time coming, because I don't make rash decisions. So perhaps you should be giving him the sympathy, because in this case, I'm not the injured party. I'm the bitch.

I will give this time, and make sure I know what I'm doing. But... damn, that winding road looks nice from astride these train tracks.

Comments? 0 so far...
Not a Diaryland member? Sign the Guestbook.