Feeling: Awake. and I should not be.
Listening to: Tori Amos, "Angie"
Reading/Watching: The Onion.com

Yes, it really is 5:30 a.m. A time when all sane and happy people should be in bed.

I woke up about two hours ago. At first I thought I must have been dreaming, waking up at 3:30, until I heard the phone ring. I ignored it, and it clicked over to my voice mail after four rings, but after another minute it started ringing again. I realized it might be an emergency, like a family death or a friend stranded (sort of like the time I called Drew at 6 a.m. asking him to pick me up from the hospital), so I picked up and groggily answered.

It was Quincy. He couldn't sleep, and he needed to know how I felt about this relationship. At three in the morning.

Oh, just beautiful.

So, I told him. How I'd been thinking about it for a long time, and I didn't think it was quite working with us as a couple, and it would be better if we could go back to being friends like we were before. Of course, all this was stated only semi-lucidly, with lots of mumbling and silences as I tried to collect my thoughts. It was not at all the carefully honest-yet-compassionate speech I'd been preparing for the past few weeks.

He said he would like to stay friends, that I was a great girl, etc. As far as I can hazily remember (still being half-comatose) we parted amiably, although the silence on his end spoke volumes. I feel a bit guilty for not mentioning how deeply I cared for him as a friend, but hey. The boy is lucky I don't wake up irritable, else he'd have gotten an earful on how such conversations are much better conducted during regular fricking business hours, when the sun is up and people are rational.

And of course, after that I was wide awake. I lay in bed, suffering from the same common malady every time I wake up in the middle of the night: I started thinking. And that, naturally, makes sleep impossible. Because thinking about what I need to do for that day is my way of waking up in the mornings. Doing this gets my brain racing and helps me get out of bed. It is not at all helpful when I have five hours before my alarm will go off, and I can't stop thinking about printing out the show line-up and flyers for the Valentine Cabaret.

Growl. So guess what I'm doing right now. Other than not sleeping.

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