Feeling: detached
Listening to: "by day your arms enclose her ghost, by night I haunt your dreams"
Reading/Watching: studying for history test

are you Ophelia yet, do you want to be that
dust mop lady he sighs for but won't
break the glass to push the buttons
inside
~"Four Whole Minutes," Geri Keaten

Being this busy begins to make me feel separated from the world, after enough time.

It starts to feel like I walk enclosed in in a display case, watching everyone through my windows, not quite touching because I can't, and waiting futilely for someone to break through and reach me.

But there's no time, because I'm going going going going going. And I can't afford to stop, because if/when I do, everything around me crashes, and I always feel the broken edges later on.

I don't want to perform the play tonight for strangers, so that I can walk out after curtain falls and smile blankly at people I don't know. I want to watch Friends. I want to write Nimsay's and my clich� story. I want to go see a movie. I want to hang out with the air force boys. I want to go Christmas shopping. I want to drive across the country. I want to do something that doesn't have a deadline or a lock-step schedule.

There are times I feel like a clockwork museum piece. This is one of those times.

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