Feeling:
Listening to:
Reading/Watching:

Phase 1: Katie meets boy.

Phase 2: Katie thinks boy is nice, but not for her.

Phase 3: Katie becomes friends with boy.

Phase 4: Boy has many interesting qualities. Katie likes being his friend.

Phase 5: Boy says things- several things- that strike a strong chord in Katie's heart.

Phase 6: Boy seeks Katie's company and friendship. Katie likes being sought. Katie resists inevitable crush because crushes suck.

Phase 7: Crush is insidious. Invades Katie's thoughts. Katie tries to distract herself.

Phase 8: It doesn't work.

Phase 9: Boy doesn't appear to feel anything special and/or gives evidence of similar friendships with other girls, so Katie tries to chill and forget about it.

Phase 10: It doesn't work.

Phase 11: Boy feels comfortable enough with Katie to confess a deep crush on... someone else.

Phase 12: Flog. Punish. Repeat.

Every time, dammit. Every time. Same movie, different leading man. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

There was a time I had the courage to keep trying. A time I was fearless and thought I could change his mind eventually, tried to be subtle and irresistible and all that good stuff. A time I'd quit dallying and just go for it. Be brazen. Be the girl I wanted to be.

God-damn him. And you know the worst of it? It's been too long to still be his fault. Now it's just me being unable to get over it. Me and my hang-up.

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