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Butterfly
2002-06-28 - 8:13 p.m.

Feeling: Awake
Listening to: Coldplay, "Cry Out"
Reading/Watching: Anna from work. she was as jittery as me.

This weekend will be spent doing absolutely, positively, nothing.

Sleeping. Maybe a movie. Or I might go rent a few. Junk food. Pajamas. Bubble baths. Slippers.

It will be glorious.

I've noticed that I have an obsession with keeping busy, keeping occupied. It's like a wildfire that has to be constantly blazing- a paltry candle or two will not do it. And if I'm not busy physically, I have to be busy mentally, emotionally. If I'm not facing down some challenge or falling head-over-heels infatuated, I'll be writing oodles of poems and pondering the meaning of life (ha, like I know), doing something to keep me from burning up from the inside out.

I fidget when I'm not busy. I'm not talking ADD, I'm talking a girl who has to constantly be using 100% of her brain or it's just such a waste of time. Seconds are ticking by, people! We only live eighty years or so; let's get a move on!

I don't even know why I do it. I usually describe myself as a restful person, because I can be restful. But just because my body is quiet doesn't mean my mind isn't combing through every nuance of the past days/weeks, recalling movies and books and conversations and songs, or plain just observing that the ceiling is really bumpy and whose idea was it to start the whole knobby-sheetrock thing, anyway?

I have to keep myself physically busy to avoid thinking too much. I have to think so much to avoid completely exhausting my limbs with foot-tapping, singing, braiding, wiggling, spinning, dancing, laughing.

If I seem quiet? Just ask what I'm thinking. If I won't answer... it's probably about you. If I do, it's bound to be something stupid and completely pointless, but do you know how lengthy a path my wandering little butterfly brain took, to flutter upon that particular thought?

Case in point: as I wind up this entry and pause for thought, my feet start dancing under the tabletop.

For goodness sake, someone get the tranquilizer gun.

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Procrastination finally grows some teeth - 2010-11-29
Necessity: the Mother of Invention - 2010-11-29
Enforced Work Ethic - 2010-11-28
A Week of Perfect Nothings - 2010-11-28
4 more days - 2010-11-27

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