Feeling: Flippant
Listening to: video game noise. Puppy got "Black & White" for Christmas.
Reading/Watching: White Oleander. Yay for Dad for being the only person to shop off my Christmas list.

Saw the Two Towers (inevitably... although, oddly enough, I seem to be the last out of my friends to see it), and it was a lot of fun, although one day I do want to interview the director and ask, "Why did you make them talk so slowly? Are they delivering their lines for dramatic effect, or just so that the nunuheads who've never read Tolkien can still understand?"

It was fun to see the Ents converging on Eisengaard, ready to lay the smack down, arbor-style. It was, however, difficult to remember that I was sitting in the middle of a sold-out house and not singsong, "Somebo-dy's in trou-ble..."

I was wondering something, though. Does anyone ever delve into the reason why Saruman wants to destroy frickin' everything? I mean, I know he's controlled by The Evil Huge Orange Eye (a.k.a. Sauron), but why does the Evil Huge Orange Eye want to destroy everything? Other than the fun of crushing the men, women, and children beneath his bootheel (do Eyes have boot heels?), and razing the forests to the ground, then what? He gets to be an Evil Huge Orange Eye over a charred, smoking pile of ash. And don't get me started on Saruman, you know it's no fun being a crookedy-fingered white wizard over a smoking pile of ash, either.

At best, he wants to Rule the World. But if he keeps destroying stuff, there will be no World to Rule. He'll kill thousands, leave thousands to serve as servants, and they shall serve him in all his needs as lord over the Smoking Pile of Ash.

It'll get frickin' boring. Monday, gather ashes into a large pile. Tuesday, crush ashes beneath boot heel. Wednesday, ash-ball fight. Thursday, run around naked in ashes screaming, "I'm the king of the world!" Friday, ash-tea party with orcai. Note to self: harvest first, then raze fields.

And why have all those servants? Yes, they get you stuff, but what is there to get, when you already have everything? Couldn't he just settle for kinda ruling the world? That way, he has power, but doesn't have to crush and raze and rape and pillage until there's nothing left. It'd get pretty boring, ruling the world when there's no world to enjoy. He'd make more orcs just so someone would be around when he felt like playing a hand of pinochle.

The way I see it, Saruman should ditch the "King of the Smoking Pile of Ash" agenda and just play pinochle with the orcs now, saving himself a lot of trouble. Especially since it just got him in deep doo-doo, tearing down all those trees so the Ents had to open up their can of forest-pine-scented Whoopass.

(Good lord, what was in that egg nog? No more Christmas-ing for me.)

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