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Okay, at what point does friendship become relationship?

Is there a set guideline? Is it just a feeling you have? Is it after a certain "talk" or whatever?

I know I probably sound thirteen, but really. Sometimes I need to ask myself this.

Because I think it's after two people start to feel something a little different for each other (hard to describe the different... because most people would define it as wanting the relationship to become more physical, not as in sex but as in holding hands and kissing and stuff, and it's not quite that in my mind). Maybe it's supposed to be once they talk to each other and find out how they feel. Maybe it's once the relationship actually does become more physical.

To those of you that know what I'm talking about, I'm a dinghy. Yes, shocking indeed for a girl of an almost-six-months relationship, but I'm a dinghy. (To understand, read the chapter of DCMI entitled "Boats"- while you're at it, read the whole darn book and comment.) *He* says he's not ready for that yet. And he doesn't know when he will be. Which I can understand, in a way. To each his own. But what do I do in the meantime?

Without that, are we even a couple, or just a pair of very distinct friends? Because we go places together, we have deep and fascinating discussions, we have most of the public markings of couple-dom (except PDA), and I can truly say I care deeply about him and would be ecstatic to spend a good hour in a car with him, steaming up the windows (but in a rowboat way, you pervert- I'm a good girl).

Am I in this by myself? Am I just expecting too much? By today's standards, we're two kids in a sixth-grade relationship, with the minds of adults and the experience of ten-year-olds. It's a very good match, because I'm not sure I could handle a relationship like some of my friends have had- definitely not the kind where you share bodies as well as souls. I'm waiting. Definitely. But a century or two ago, our relationship could almost be considered as destined for marriage. It would only be proper for him to be a gentleman, and I appreciate that, but things have changed in the eyes of society, so does that mean all people have to change, as well?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Is it bad to be an eighteen-year-old dinghy? Most would say yes. I think I might be lucky to have evaded Spin-the-Bottle mishaps and disastrous pre-pubescent, over-eager boys with little knowledge of how it's done. It will probably mean that the eventual upgrade to rowboat will be that much more special. It will echo in my soul and make me grateful I never suffered through the embrace of a squishy-lipped fourteen-year-old with wandering hands.

But what if this just means that the reason he's not ready is because I'm completely unattractive? It has crossed my mind. Maybe he doesn't even know that he loves me like a best friend, not like a girlfriend. Maybe he's never had to make the distinction before, and the thought of me just can't and will never make him feel... something.

But basically, I'm tired of having virgin lips, as a good friend of mine likes to jokingly call them. I'm willing to wait, but it's hard to find the distinction between controlling myself and cheating myself.

Because there is a point where patience becomes self-sacrifice. And I don't want to cross that point without knowing it.

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