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For Your Age
2000-06-01 - 16:53:00

Feeling:
Listening to:
Reading/Watching:

"Mom, do you think I'm a good writer?"

"Oh, honey, I think you're an excellent writer for your age."

Gee. Thanks, Mom.

How old do you have to be before you escape the stigma of "your age"? Eighteen? Twenty-one? Thirty? Eighty-five? When is a person no longer considered in terms of their age and instead considered in terms of their character? Because I tell you, I've heard that cute little phrase since I was about five, in terms of my singing, my writing... pretty much everything I do. It's infuriating. I thought I'd escape it once I became a legal adult, but apparently not. Do I have to have my own kids to patronize before I can stop being considered one?

It's not that I don't understand that I'm still growing. But we're all still growing. Everyone learns new things every day, so why don't we say a 45-year-old is good at what they do "for their age"? When can they just be plain good?

Because every time I hear those three little words, I wonder, "so, does that mean I stink, or what?"

I'd much rather hear, "You're not ready to do it for a living yet, hon, but if you keep working you'll be great. Just give it time." I'd rather hear "not yet" than "good for your age" because it's hard to gauge exactly how much of a compliment that is, especially considering society's current opinion of teenagers. Good "for my age" could be one step above horrible, for all I know.

I guess it's considered tactful. Say good "for your age" instead of "bad." But I must be unique in wanting complete, unvarnished truth. It's so much better, after hearing doting grandparents gush about my high note in O Holy Night, to hear my dad say, "You sounded a little strained on that one part; are you in bad voice today?"

Compliments are great, don't get me wrong... but too many, and it becomes insincere. Too many, and it gets cloying. Give everything with a grain of salt- encouragement, but one constructive criticism, and I will love you forever. :o�

My nine-year-old cousin wants to be a writer. Once she showed me her story, a tale of princesses and enchantments. It was completely unrealistic, but the plot twists were fascinating and the imagination she exerted was boundless. She asked me what I thought.

"Oh, it's great! Especially good for your- uh-"

Open mouth, insert foot. How do you spell "hypocrite" again? :)

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