Feeling: mercurial and bitchy
Listening to: Coldplay - Talk
Reading/Watching: nothing... forgot my book at work

So in keeping with previous theory, I can spend my entire day busy from dawn to dusk, and still feel that I have not accomplished anything worthwhile.

I can also spend my entire day not busy, sitting on the couch watching television or knitting, and not make myself do any of the "worthwhile" things on my agenda.

For some uncertain reason, I lay awake in bed for two hours after lying down last night, and then woke up at least four times (according to memory) in the following five hours before my alarm clock.

I've been thinking about writing, and that perhaps novels aren't the thing for me anymore. I used to write them all the time, and now I find that I lack the patience. The reason I liked them was for the opportunity to spell out a story slowly, and include plenty of witty dialogue and realistic characters. But last I checked, there's another medium for that sort of thing.

So I'm musing about script writing, and trying to decide what kind of story I want to tell. Since I have all my big long-term projects off my plate for the time being, I'm thinking of a version of NaNoWriMo, only in March. So it'd be MarchScriptWriMo. One page per day.

We'll see. Mostly I'm thinking about my parents being in town this weekend and how I need to clean the apartment up so I don't spend their entire visit wondering if they notice the dust bunny in the corner and are secretly losing all their respect and love for me because I'm such a big slob.

I am aware that I am neurotic tonight. It's part of what makes me work so hard, so perhaps someday someone else will consider it worth it (I won't; I'll still be chasing that next part of my life that isn't perfect yet, you know).

When my life is horrible, I work to improve it. When my life is wonderful, I work to destroy it. I just can't seem to let things stay as they are. Because "as they are" is stagnance, and that will drive me crazy.

I need sleep. And I need to close my eyes and my mouth so I will stop yelling at my wonderful husband due to crankiness borne on the fact that I need sleep... and so many other things.

Even though I feel guilty for having so much, I still need so, so many other things.

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