Feeling: stupid, and stupid for feeling stupid
Listening to: Finger Eleven - Slow Chemical
Reading/Watching: Return of the King

There are times I want so badly to live for the moment, and other times I feel ridiculous for living in fantasy worlds when there's a perfectly serviceable one out there to be embraced.

Yes, I am going to RP this weekend (for the uninitiated, that's Role Play, meaning I will assume the personality of a fictional character I've invented, and speak and act as she would in alternate universes... first it was D&D, now I'm into Vampire the Masquerade and Shadowrunners). We're playing this evening and again on Sunday.

I'll actually be taking off early this evening while the boys embark on a new game idea that I have no interest in exploring, simply because three universes in Katie's head is quite enough, thank you. But mon coeur, who originally said that he wouldn't play with them, has decided to stay and try out this new one (Call of Cthulhu, for those of you who know or care), and now I am wondering what I am supposed to do in the meantime. Because he's going to want me to stay over that night, and that means I need to find a way to occupy myself for a good four or five hours, that is if I actually want to come back after they're done, just for the privilege of making out and sleeping in his arms (which is a damn fine privilege, but I digress...).

So essentially, my weekend will consist of pretending I'm someone else, and answering a non-booty call. It makes me sad. It makes me feel like I'm living my entire life for the chance to escape to these nonexistent places and live an alter-ego, which is also sad.

There was a time I lived for the week, not the weekend. Can't remember how long ago that was. It makes me want to run out and do something productive and meaningful right now, but another part of me is saying, "Heyyyy, dude, it's Friday. Leave the serious stuff for later."

I just wish I could see my boyfriend for once when it involved more than cuddling or RP. 'Cause you know, technically he doesn't need me for either of those things; any other human being on the planet is capable of filling in for me (and possibly doing a better job).

Mrph.

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