Feeling: motivated
Listening to: Dispatch - Questioned Apocalypse
Reading/Watching: The Grieving Tree

Since I am so hard on myself and it is so frustrating for the rest of you, I have decided to keep it up, so that you can try to "rescue" me and feel like you have a summer project.

In other ways, I am working on myself by giving me homework. My assignment is to go to the gym three times a week (instead of once a week and have convenient excuses for why I can skip it "just this once" the other two times). My assignment is to learn a new piano piece- I'm thinking "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" by Vienna Teng, because she is all wicked on the keys and will keep me busy for a long time, and then I'll have another song to play and sing with.

And someday when I have a litter, I'll have something to sing to them before bedtime, so they can demand that their babysitter sing it when I'm away and she'll go crazy, because she's thirteen and she was born in 2003 and she never learned the music of acoustic indie chicks of 2001.

And I'm setting an alarm in the mornings. Just because mon coeur works from 2:30 to 10:30 doesn't mean I have to. I can wake up at 9:00 and quietly write or something (because I miss writing like you wouldn't believe) while he sleeps until noon because, you know, he has a job.

I am reclaiming my self-motivation. It's slippery and likes to take long road trips, but I will hold on to it as long as I can. I want to at least be artistic, if I'm not going to be useful.

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