Feeling: stymied
Listening to: Wallflowers- Invisible City
Reading/Watching: Origin of the Christian Claim

It was an off day. I can't quite describe it, but everything was just a little bit unbalanced. I felt like I wasn't quite in it, not myself, and as a result, my actions were detached and weird.

Chessa is really mad at me because I have to back out of the roommate situation, and I would be too in her position, so I know I deserve it, and I'm feeling pretty crappy right now.

For whatever it's worth, I really am sorry.

And Bri and I analyze things way too much. It needs to stop, or I will go mad, combing through every nuance, every look, every single thing he did or said in the past year when all of it might not even be relevant, since for me so much changed in the past two weeks and it's just idiocy.

I know I will have to put myself out there. I will have to take a chance eventually, like I did in the past when I was too stupid to be scared, with Charlie Brown. But now I'm smarter. Or at least more guarded. And I am scared shitless of what could go wrong, what I could be mistaken about. But it's either take a chance, and risk everything, or sit and atrophy in fear.

Plus, all this thinking is getting me nowhere. The only way to get an answer to this question is through action.

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