Feeling: angry
Listening to: Tori Amos - Mr. Zebra
Reading/Watching: Frasier, final season

I am still angry.

This is the first time I've been angry with mon coeur for longer than a twenty-four-hour period. Usually I want to make peace and just be the bigger person, so I compromise and apologize and kiss and make up.

But he has chosen his computer over me way too much. For four, nearly five years, I have come second place to the damn machine way too many times. And I've had it.

He's already working nights, meaning he leaves at 9:30 every night and gets home just before I leave for work at 7. So we don't sleep in the same bed, and I'm ridiculously lonely. Then he sleeps all day, so I don't get to spend time with him for half my weekends. We have a four-hour window to have a nice dinner together and talk about our days once I get home from my job and before he leaves for his.

Except he's been exhausted lately, and sleeping through our time window. Three days in a row, and I started to worry that he might be sick. Really sick. The kind that makes you sleep 14-16 hours a day.

So I woke him to prevent his being late for work, and began begging him to make a doctor's appointment to find out if something was wrong, like a form of anemia or fatigue syndrome or something. After fifteen minutes of him trying to convince me he was fine, he finally admitted that he hadn't been going to sleep until noon or one. Because he was playing on his computer.

Choosing time with his computer over time with me.

So yes, I am still mad. It's a new record of grudge-holding, and I am still furious. I am not letting it go. I have forgiven this so many times before, but eventually the broken bone can't be splinted back together.

Yeah. He wants his alone time so much, he can have it. Let's see if he even misses me.

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