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I want to be able to write something but I can't think what to say.

We spent half an hour before curtain singing cartoon songs. Ducktales to Lion King. Sophomores in college, all the way up to thirty-three-year-olds, singing in disjointed harmony. Loved it.

After the show (which went well... such energy) it was back to Louie's. I didn't really feel like getting drunk, though I did alternate soda and other things. We started a drinking game, but gave up on it halfway through.

I loved the evening after everyone went in the garage to smoke- not because I joined in, but because I danced like a woman in a turbine in the living room and talked to a guy named Rob that I'll probably never meet again.

He and I were the only ones dancing. He truly seemed interested in getting to know me, which was nice, even though he's 27 and that makes him beyond my range. The girls tried to tease me about it but I was having none of it.

I have sworn off males until the year 2002. (Yes, I realize that's closer than it sounds.) It's just easier.

When the bong was put away I finally ventured into the garage to talk to people, sitting on the hood of someone's car and noticing that one of my (former) boys of interest (Antipholus of Ephesus) spent more time walking from conversation to conversation, listening instead of talking. Interesting.

I tried to call Louie over to me (my favorite gay man; if I'm not married at 30 I'm marrying him), because he's a great hugger, but he walked out, and I murmured "I just wanted somebody to love me right now."

Antipholus heard, and started massaging my shoulders. It was so nice, I closed my eyes and thought happy thoughts.

Eventually I wound up discussing boys/men/males around the kitchen table, scribbling poetry as I sobered up, talking with the girls in the cast. They seemed dedicated to drawing me out, since some of them intimidate me normally and I keep to the people I know.

Everyone knows, of course, that when you're writing poetry you can't but say everything in poetry. And somehow I managed to say things so that they still made sense. The girls and Antipholus and I started comparing notes on men vs. women, and he had such things to say. And he listened so well.

My 2002 resolve is in serious jeopardy.

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