Feeling: stagnant
Listening to: Josh & Jake bicker philosophy at work
Reading/Watching: Ethics textbook

Ampersand topic for March: "Restoring the mind or minding the store. Punching in or punching out. Who loves life more?"

This is a song quote from an artist I don't really follow, but the words are interesting enough.

It seems that we have two choices in life: either to live it or survive it. I spent too many years surviving it, and now I intend to live.

Either you bide your time, waiting for the right moment, living for Friday afternoon and spending large chunks of life in line, always saying "someday" and working, working, working, traveling but never arriving, garnering money and collecting prizes for a dusty shelf...

Or you are awake now. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of biding my time, just trying to get to my next break. I often get into that mindset, where things suck and I just have to make it to the weekend and I'll be fine. I am trying to just retain sanity until I finish college and can really start learning something. I know something's missing, because right now I'm just "minding the store."

There are a few brilliant moments here and there, though. Moments where I'm really alive, where I don't need to wait for the weekend, where I want time to stop and let me be there for always. Doesn't even have to be a good moment, just a quiet one. A peaceful one, where I'm very aware of breathing.

I need to work more on restoring the mind, punching in, living. Looking out the window on this journey, to make sure I see what's on the way, instead of the endless road in front, but not so much that I drive into the ditch and crash. Live for today, but at least try to make it to tomorrow.

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